Men, You Are Making a Difference: One Woman’s Story

man pressing a button on the screen over a white backgroundTwo young people met and fell in love. Every weekend they went out drinking and had a good time. When the wife became pregnant she thought the weekend binges would stop. After all, he should be focused on providing for his new family, she thought. He continued excessively drinking….for years. The kids continued to grow up and watch the anger and isolation of their parents. Finally, he admitted to being an alcoholic, went into treatment, and came out a new man. Life was finally going to be better! However, the angry outbursts, the criticism, the verbal abuse….none of that stopped. He was never wrong. She was never right. Does this sound familiar?

The family longs for happiness and security. The father knows it’s his fault while the family begins to wonder if they are the reason for his drinking. (The “big book” refers to the father as the addict. According to a Harvard study Addiction in Women men were twice as likely to be affected by addiction than women.) While struggling with substances the addict can be irritable, angry, violent and abusive, melancholy, or apathetic. Verbal and emotional abuse are just as damaging to the family’s health as physical abuse.

Finally, the children grow up. Carrying the emotional scars with them, they begin to abuse substances to mask their pain. Without help and intervention this pattern can carry on. The entire family suffers socially, psychologically, emotionally, and physically because of substance abuse. Men, you are making a difference. To generations. Is it the difference you want to make? We all have a choice between making a negative difference or a positive difference!

The “big book” from Alcoholics Anonymous quotes: “Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. A doctor said to us, “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make a wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.”” It couldn’t be more aptly stated that alcoholism or addiction to any substance, for that matter, affect everyone around the addict. Men, You Are Making a Difference: One Woman’s Story (355 words)

Orlando: The City Beautiful? Or The Addicted City?

orlandoOrlando is ranked 67th out of 100 for the “100 Most Dangerous Cities”. Almost ⅓ of our population in Orlando work in the industries most likely to be affected by addiction (food service, construction, maintenance and repair services, and sports). We have young men on college campuses making $500/day selling prescription drugs that were legally written. We have the Parramore and Pine Hills neighborhoods where youth grow up in abject poverty and generations of fathers who struggle with addiction (and may not even be present in the home because of it)

 

Our statistics on addiction in Florida are staggering!

  • Florida youth (ages 11-18) have higher rates of alcohol consumption than the national average with Orange County accounting for nearly 8% of that. {Florida Dept. of Children and Families} Why is this important to me? Most youth that struggle with addiction have a parent who is an addict. Youth with fathers in poverty are more likely to be affected. However, addiction doesn’t discriminate by socioeconomic class (just look at Hollywood!)
  • Five people a day die as a direct result of prescription drug overdoses. {Florida Medical Examiners} 70% of people who abuse prescriptions get them from the medicine cabinet of a friend or family member. We’ve seen young men on college campuses making $500/day selling their pain medication.
  • In 2007, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) found that one in eight weekend, nighttime drivers tested positive for illicit drugs. According to recent Fatal Accident Reporting System (FARS) data, one in three motor vehicle fatalities (33 percent) with known drug test results tested positive for drugs in 2009.
  • Marijuana, opiates, and cocaine were the 3 leading substances for drug abuse treatment in Florida for 2010; marijuana was responsible for almost twice the numbers of treatments as opiates, however.
  • As a direct consequence of drug use, 2,936 persons died in Florida in 2007. This is compared to the number of persons in Florida who died from motor vehicle accidents (3,329) and firearms (2,272) in the same year.
  • In 2008 nearly 50,000 were admitted into treatment facilities in the state of Florida. Of that number over 15,000 were admitted for marijuana addiction and almost 14,000 were admitted due to alcohol (with or without a secondary addiction to another substance. {samhsa}

 

Here at Fresh Start we serve clients in Orange County. How do these statistics translate to a problem in our community? How do these statistics affect your home?

If any of these statistics sound like something you or a loved one have experienced, there is help. We don’t want you to become one of these statistics.

The Many Victims of Addiction

sadThe effects of addiction on families are overlooked. While on the road to recovery, the focus is generally on the addict, the person working to recuperate from their toxic habits. However, families of addicts experience their share of hardships during the process. Families are heavily damaged during the addiction, but they also play an integral role during rehabilitation.

Feeding an addiction is a pricey task. Whether it is drugs or alcohol, those substances must be paid for, and one of the tolls addictions takes on families is a monetary one. Gone are the funds needed for survival, for food and shelter and other necessities, to instead be used on whatever drugs or alcohol the addict desires. This creates a stressor within the family, particularly between spouses. In some cases, addicts steal or lie to attain their vices. In other cases, the addiction causes the addict to lose their job, and as a result, the family has lost an important source of income. They must now work harder to compensate for the money spent on drugs or alcohol.

Unmistakably, addiction affects the addict, not only physically, but mentally as well (and more so).  Families of addicts can also suffer psychologically. Addiction is a poisonous disease that slowly changes a person’s way of thinking, ultimately leading them to become a different person. Families must witness their loved one take on a new and destructive persona, one unlike the person they once knew. This is especially taxing on children, who must now change their perceptions of their parental figure. This can lead to trust issues amongst family members, as the addict now showcases inconsistency and unreliability.

Lipstick JungleBut when the damage is done and the addict has made the important decision to clean his or her act up, it is up to the family to serve as a support system during the rehabilitation process.

Despite what the addict might have said or done under the influence, it is of the utmost importance for the family to be present during recovery. By being vocal and unconditionally supportive, the family provides the addict an incentive to get better. Families can express their concerns to the addict, detailing the destruction the addiction brought about. This can be a cathartic moment for both the addict and the families. Everything is out on the table. It is now time to let go and begin anew.

During a person’s addiction, families are damaged just as much as the addict. But families can also be the key to a full recovery and a new start.

 

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